Near-Death Experience

So I have had a little bit of time to think about this. This note is not for everyone, but so many people have asked me if I felt or saw anything.

Before I knew that I had to be brought back twice during surgery, I had the memory of an experience that I told my husband about. He didn't tell me until on the way home from the hospital that the surgeon told him I "crashed" twice. This is a memory, not a remembered dream. It was real.

I went to a party. It was at my sister-in-law Barbara's apartment. Her apartment had a wooden door. I don't know the apartment number because the light was too bright. When Barbara opened the door, I could sense a huge room behind her. I heard happy voices in the room, not loud or raucous. I heard music. I smelled food and flowers.

I was all dressed up in brand-new party clothes. I remember seeing myself in a mirror. I have never been so beautiful. I glowed.

I did not knock, but the door opened when I got there. I don't know how I got there. I was just there. Barbara answered the door. She looked healthy and whole and was in her party clothes too, looking more beautiful than ever. She was always beautiful. Barbara passed away in 2001 from leukemia, but I was not surprised to see her answer this door.

She only opened the door a crack, but the light, sounds and fragrances emerged. I was really attracted to the light. It felt welcoming and friendly. 

She didn't say my name. She just told me, "You can't come in yet. You have to go back." 

I knew nothing for a while and then I was back at her door. This time she told me, "It's not time for you to come here. I'll let you in when you're ready." I told her that she had to let me in, after all I'd taken a helicopter to the party. I guess my helicopter ride really had an effect on me.

I know where I was. If I had gone through the door into the party, I would have never come back. I would not be writing this. I would have died and stayed that way. Barbara pushed me back into life to finish living it. It's not time yet.

I know she'll be there whenever that time is right. I have no doubt of that.